Trinity Blood Bloopers
by VampireQueenAkasha
Summary: Don't hurt me too much. Blame boredom! LOL. Bloopers from every episode. Well, mostly every episode. Have fun. EDITED.


**Trinity Blood Bloopers**

**Disclaimer**: Yes, we are the bored. If you know the episodes well, these will be funny.

_"And out of that lasting darkness...they emerged (explosions & fighting) From the legends of ancient times, they have been called forth into the world anew...vampires!"_

-Narrator, Trinity Blood Episode 1

**By: VampireQueenAkasha**

_"Can it get any sadder than this?"_

**Episode One: Flight Night**

1. Abel Nightroad staggered to the counter top, reached for it with several grips of his hands, and then he slipped back onto the floor with a loud thud. "Ahh ... damn ... " he growled, from below.

2. Jessica stood on the main bridge of the Tristan ship and glanced at the camera, grinning. She looked clueless as well. "What's my line again?"

3. Alfred leaned in to bit Jessica with a violent hiss. She suddenly cringed back from his fangs, giggling. He pulled away, laughing slightly as she rubbed her neck to rid herself of the sensation.

"I'm sorry, it tickles!" she cried, "Let's do it again."

4. Caterina stared toward Francesco, and suddenly, she tightened her lips and giggled. "I can't hold the laugh, I'm sorry." she said, shaking her head.

Alessandro glanced at the camera and grinned, making a "weepy - eyed" gesture with two hands.

5. Abel grinned and nodded at Jessica. "I'll wait! I'll wait! All the powers of heaven and earth couldn't move me fro ... " He trailed off and began to giggle from the force of his words.

6. Alfred lunged at Abel, but the large door behind the priest would not open. Abel struggled with it for several moments, but it was stuck. Alfred had to hide his face in his hand to keep from laughing as Abel violently attempted to push it open with his shoulder.

"It's stuck." Abel said, "Not gonna open."

**Episode Two: Witch Hunt**

1. Abel and Tres walked down the stairs. Tres tripped slightly in his pace and Abel giggled.

2. Elise tossed her cup of water and it missed William. She giggled softly and covered her head with her arm before she spoke. "Can I do that again?" she asked, glancing off to the side to the crew.

3. Abel laughed at the camera, standing on the ceiling. He was struggling to maintain his balance. "It's really slippery out here!"

4. Elise laughed, sputtering with her line and William smirked teasingly at her. "What'd you call me, little girl?" he taunted in a dramatic voice, "Are you calling me out to fight? Are you, huh?"

5. Abel farted in the pew beside William, and the priest laughed wildly. "Farting in a church, dear Father; you are gonna go to hell." William laughed.

**Episode Three: Star of Sorrow I - City of Blood**

1. Esther spun her gun in her finger with a grin and flashed the camera an equally sly smile. She was standing in the alley. "I'm the new Rick James, bitch." she said, grinning.

The "dead" vampire at her feet started laughing.

2. Abel happily slurped up some porridge and gave a slightly belch. "Oh, excuse me." he said.

Esther sputtered from the belch and dropped her head onto the table.

Abel smiled behind him. "Hey, can we use that?" he asked. A pause. "We can't?"

3. Esther stared up at the burning church. She frowned at a camera man with a confused look on her face. "Uh, line?"

He held up a giant card that read "Nooooo". Esther smiled.

"Okay." She inhaled deeply. "NOOOOOOOO!" she wailed.

**Episode Four: Star of Sorrow II-Hunter's Banquet**

1. Gyula slid a gun across the table. Abel and Esther watched it slide onto the floor far from Ether's reach. They giggled and glanced at each other while Gyula hung his head with defeat.

"Wow, now that is a clean table." Abel joked. He looked over at Gyula. "Do you use Mr. Clean?"

2. Esther faced Gyula for a few moments and attempted to look serious, but she broke character completely by cracking a grin and suddenly giggling.

3. Gyula bared his fangs and blew a kiss to the camera.

4. Dietrich grinned at Esther on the screen. "Everyone of this town will listen to the horrible, screeching sounds of Peaches and Herb!" he declared, in a goofy voice, "Including the bonus tracks!"

Esther screamed and held her head in a near overly dramatic gesture and he laughed evilly, "Yes! Scream! It will be torture!"

**Episode Five: Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow**

1. Vaclav smiled at Esther and she suddenly grinned. "Wow, he's fixated on me, ain't he?" she said, looking at Caterina. "He's looking at my chest." She looked back at Vaclav. "You're supposed to be a priest, you know."

Caterina had her face hidden and was snickering softly.

"I'm thinking of converting." Vaclav told her, bobbing his eyebrows up and down.

2. Caterina sat in her chair in strict silence for a moment before she stuck her tongue out teasingly at the camera with a grin.

3. William proudly displayed his machine to the others standing before him across from his desk. "As you know, people exhibit ultra low ... " He fumbled with his words and gave a gruff snort, waving his hands in the air. "Oh you get the idea! It does something!"

4. William struggled with his scientific talk and sighed, giving up with the whole idea before rolling his eyes. "I hate this stinking line," he snapped, "Where are the writers I'm gonna kill them ... "

5. William and Vaclav both brought their faces into the camera, waving their tongues with laughs.

**Episode Six: Sword Dancer**

1. The vampire in the alley's head fell off and Abel (Not even in this episode) was lying down at the head's level, grinning into the camera.

"Hey, guess what?" he whispered, "I'm not supposed to be in this one."

2. Hugue casually walked down the hallway and smiled, doing a small dance with his sword in hand.

3. Agnes sat with Hugue at the table and she smiled. "So, what are those?" she asked.

Hugue raised a brow at her. "That's my line."

Agnes snickered, covering her face with both hands.

4. Every cut, Agnes tossed Hugue's sword in the air, and it continuously missed him. Once there in his reach, it hit him on the head and snapped easily into two pieces. He picked it up and shook his head with dismay at the camera.

"Oh, she broke it."

**Episode Seven: Never Land**

1. Leon wiggled in his chair uncomfortably and shook his head. "Can't I at least get a better chair than this?" he asked, glancing at the crew, "I'm in prison, not hell, here! Come on!"

2. Leon and Peter were alone on the beach. Leon frowned silently for a moment before he grinned at the camera sheepishly. "I'm sorry, what am I supposed to do here again?"

3. Peter struggled to hold onto a handful of rocks and kept spilling them all over the place. "Cut!" he cried, "Cut! I need help!"

4. Wendy sighed, leaning onto Abel in an almost seductive gesture while he was drugged up. "I need to go and gather the Philoso ... " She trailed off once she realized the error, giggling and Abel glanced to the side.

"Which show is this?" he asked.

**Episode Eight: Silent Noise**

1. The camera was far in Abel's face. He bared his teeth in a broad, cheesy grin. "Welcome to my face!" he announced.

2. As Isaak played the church organ, a single pipe collapsed off to the side and everyone laughed. Isaak shook his head and still maintained his role. "That had better not come out of my paycheck!" he called, back as he continued to play the organ.

3. Abel faced Isaak. "I am ordering you to ... " The microphone that hovered above him hit him on the head and he flinched, grabbing his head with one hand and a sharp grunt of pain. Isaak suddenly giggled and Abel couldn't help but laugh.

**Episode Nine: Overcount I - Belfry of Downfall**

1. Noelle smiled at the camera. "I know Abel. He's always hungry. I remember one time when he had gotten so hungry, as a kid, he was able to beat up a grown man." she joked, "Made him cry too."

"Lies!" Abel shouted back at her from off screen.

Noelle grinned at the camera. "He'll never admit it, though."

2. Alfonso raised a hand to collect his mirror and dropped it onto the floor. He stared down at it with dismay. "Ahh."

3. Esther tried to hold up her umbrella to Abel, but she hit him on the head and he sighed with a laugh, shaking his head. "I'm trying to be sad here and you're just making it worse!"

4. In the background, a crew member suddenly ran on by in jogging shorts. Abel laughed.

**Episode Ten: Overcount II - Lucifer's Choice**

1. Noelle was lying in her coffin, waving at the camera with a cheerful smile.

2. Alfonso stared into the mirror and Isaak seductively stroked his shoulders in a playful manner, speaking like a devil. "You are sexy. Admit yourself to the devil, old man!" he boomed.

Alfonso jerked aside, laughing loudly.

3. Abel, as a Crusnik, dangled from an invisible string. He smiled and waved at the camera.

4. Isaak stared at Caterina with a smile. "I'd never kill you, you know that, right?" he said. She nodded. "I'd torture you a little. I like doing that." The two laughed a little bit at that.

**Episode Eleven: From the Empire**

1. Astaroshe grabbed Abel and shoved him up against the wall. "A Tovarash is someone you can trust with you life!" she shouted.

Abel grinned at her. "I only wanted love!" he said, dramatically.

She abruptly sputtered with laughter and let him go.

2. The vampire doubled over due to a "punch" and gagged in overly dramatic fake agony.

3. Astaroshe yelped out like a goofus and waved her hands dramatically from across a crowded crosswalk. "Yoooo-hooo!" she hollered, laughing.

4. Astaroshe dove off of the roof on a string and ended up careening out of control into another building. She groaned in pain and staggered to her feet before she walked off, weakly.

**Episode Twelve: The Ibelis I - Evening Visitors**

1. Ion attempted to escape from the window, but it was closed and he smacked into it, falling flat on the ground.

"What the f&*k?" he said, from off screen.

2. Ion's hat began to unravel and many crewman helped him get it back into place. "Can we eighty - six the bath towel?" he asked, "If it's going to keep unraveling, I'm wearing a baseball cap. I don't care what any of you say."

3. The knife Radu had at Esther's throat bent against her skin because it was made of rubber. He grinned and poked her with it repeatedly while she laughed. "Die, die ... Stabby, stabby ... "

**Episode Thirteen: The Ibelis II - Betrayal Blaze**

1. Petros attempted to jump into the boat and the force of his leap wasn't enough; he plummeted straight into the water with a loud splash.

2. Esther scowled at Petros after her speech and he winced, disgusted. He wiped his face with one hand and stared down at the hand briefly. "Eww, she f*&king spit on me." he said.

3. Ion shook his head and leaned into the boat, wearing a pair of sunglasses while the others stared at him skeptically. "This is the most boring episode ever!" he said, in a goofy accent.

4. Radu held up his gun and advanced slowly on Esther and Ion. "I did what I had to do, Ion," he said, dramatically, "I ... " He grimaced as he started to laugh and turned around, walking away.

**Episode Fourteen: The Ibelis III - A Mark of Sinner**

1. Abel stood there blinking cluelessly for a moment before he looked at the camera with a grin. "I'll get my line, I promise." he told them.

2. "No!" Radu shouted.

Everyone stared at him and he flashed a goofy grin before stepping down off of the tank. "Do something else!"

3. Esther shook her head, laughing after she had attempted to shake Ion away from his unconscious state. She looked at the camera with a sigh. "I am getting this all wrong. Can we start again?"

4. Radu glared down at Abel. "You're mine!" he shouted. His hat flew off and he scoffed. "Goddamn it. You blew my damn hat off, you ass!"

Everyone laughed at this as he made a mad dash to retrieve his flying hat.

**Episode Fifteen: The Night Lords I - The Return of Envoy**

1. Abel smiled at Ion and patted his shoulder. "Let us not, my dear friend forget our..." He frowned and rubbed his head in a clueless gesture before stomping his foot with a grunt of frustration. "Lines let us not forget our lines!"

2. Astaroshe grinned at Radu. "You can't curse in a cartoon, you know." she told him.

3. Esther giggled as her "tattoo" was drawn on by various crew members.

4. Esther grinned at Astaroshe. "You lookin' at me?" she joked.

**Episode Sixteen: The Night Lords II - Twilight Of The Capital**

1. Ion scoffed at Esther as he carried two filled bags in his arms. "I buy her stuff and she still doesn't notice me?" he muttered. He gave her a look. "You are such a gold digger." She doubled over, trying not to make her laughter obvious.

2. Ion stared at Esther, and then sighed. "Ahh f&*k me ... " he muttered, forgetting his line.

3. Petros suddenly sneezed and Ion laughed, patting his shoulder. "Oh! Oh, bless you for holding it."

**Episode Seventeen: The Night Lords III - The Island Of Her Darling Children**

1. Ion slammed his fist against the wall, close to Esther's ear. She stumbled and fell from the over - exerted strength of his punch. He glanced down at her in surprise. "You alright?"

2. Radu stood on the roof, licking his fingers of the blood. He spat it to the side. "Don't taste like blood!"

3. Astaroshe stood in the field, spear at the ready. "Pull!" she ordered.

Suleymon was standing behind her and pulled a string attached to a skeet shooting device, sending a dinner plate into the air. She shot at it with her spear and smiled with pride. "Yeah, that's the way I blow it out your ass."

**Episode Eighteen: The Night Lords IV-The Palace Of Jade**

1. Ion rolled around in his blood, gagging in a goofy way and pretended to be in more pain than he was scripted to do. "Oh God! I shouldn't have eaten that pepper!" he mocked, "Ahh! Someone help!"

2. Ion went to slash Radu with his claws, and Radu grinned at him, stepping back from his slash. Ion stopped and giggled.

3. Ion poked his chest with the rubber knife, laughing.

4. "Oh God, kill me!" Ion mocked, pretending to be overly depressed more than he should have, "My life is pointless! Ohhh ... Ohh ... " He sank dramatically to the floor, leaving Esther to laugh.

**Episode Nineteen: The Night Lords V - A Start of Pilgrimage**

1. Suleymon stood, a fake hole in his chest, laughing and glancing to the side at Seth. "I am f*&king f&*ked." he muttered, shaking his head.

2. Astaroshe and an Auto Jaguar played the banjo. "I fell in to a burning ring of fire!" she sang, cheerfully, "I went down, down, down, and the blaze went higher. And it burns, burns, burns ... The ring of fire!"

3. Radu scowled at Abel. "You ain't gettin' me ... " he snapped. He tapped the keyboard with a grin and attempted to remove the device, but it failed and he laughed. "I can't make the damn thing turn off!"

**Episode Twenty: The Throne of Roses I - Kingdom of the North**

1. Ion sighed and shook his head. "And this is why I can't remember my line..." he said.

2. Alessandro laughed and looked around at Caterina and Francesco. "I'm surrounded by assholes."

3. Petros attempted to balance his lance on his hand.

4. Paula and Petros were talking in the hall and Petros stared at the camera, grinning. He pretended to walk over to the crew and waved his hands into the air. "Go away!" he said, "This is private!"

**Episode Twenty - One: The Throne of Roses II - The Refuge**

1. "Worst episode ever ... " Alessandro murmured, giggling.

2. Virgil glanced around the Ghetto. "And here, we ... " He chuckled and walked off.

3. "I swear, I'm gonna ... " Vanessa began. She fumbled with her line and sighed heavily, walking away.

**Episode Twenty - Two: The Throne of Roses III - Lord of Abyss**

1. Cain casually walked up to the elevator and bumped into it. There was scattered laughter around him and he glanced skeptically back at the crew.

"Who forgot to open the damn door?" he asked, calmly.

2. Petros swung his lance at a Auto Jaguar and smiled, turning it in his hands for study.

3. Cain picked up his dismembered limb and waved it at the camera. "Hello people!" he called.

4. Virgil scowled at Vanessa. "Have you no shame?"

She tried not to smile. Too late. She sputtered with laughter. Virgil tsked. "And she's messing it up yet again," he said, "You are not my sister. Do you understand? You are a lie!"

5. Abel ran through the halls and just as he turned the corner, there stood Cain. "Surprise." Cain said.

Abel gave a startled cry and fell over onto his back after losing his balance. Everyone laughed.

6. Dietrich stood near the computer and looked at the camera, rolling his eyes.

7. Abel went to take out his gun, but it fell apart. He bent over to collect it. "Oh shit."

8. "Abel it's been a while," Cain said. He paused and chuckled at the camera. "I'm sorry, I didn't do that right."

9. Cain bobbed his eyebrows up and down in the camera.

10. Petros got his lance caught in his robe and growled with frustration, struggling to get it loose.

11. Petros slipped on the blood and Vanessa laughed, going to help him. "Shit, are you okay?"

**Episode - Twenty - Three: The Crown of Thorns I - City in the Mist**

1. Isaak smiled and bellowed in a dramatic voice. "I am Lord Isaak. Are you not entertained?"

2. Leoon stared sadly at Esther. Something small quickly zipped by and he laughed, looking in the direction that it had gone. "What the hell was that?"

3. Through the winds in the hills, Caterina struggled to chase her hat in the distance, causing everyone to laugh in the background.

4. William looked back at Paula and Petros. "Get outta here, you two, we ain't ready for you yet!"

5. Ion looked at the camera, grinning. "Oh, are we on now?"

**Episode Twenty - Four: The Crown of Thorns II - The Road of Oath**

1. Mary stood at the console. "They can't see me with your big head there." Virgil joked.

2. Isaak stared casually at the camera, which jerked. He flashed a smile and glanced off screen. "Okay, are you sure we've been to Mars before?"

3. Abel and Ion walked down the path to the end of the story, Abel pushing Ion gently

O

_Note _- Ahhhh...I have been bored. Don't hurt me too much. LOL. This has been edited.


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